Week 5 Accountability
Imagine, you’re behind enemy lines…
You hear the sounds of war raging around you. The blood from the bullet wound you sustained is leaking through your field bandages. You are alone, and the darkness creeping over the battlefield is stifling. It would be easy to just give up and hope the enemy will be kind toward you, even though you know they won’t. You hear the noise of rocks shifting behind you. You spin to bring your rifle fixed on the oncoming threat. The moment is tense, stress has you shaken. The wrong move here could alert the enemy to your position. Slowly, the outline of a man comes into focus. You pause to get a read on the situation. Time passes as each second feels like a lifetime. You are relieved to see the person approaching is your squad mate. The man you shared your plan with before you left the safety of camp. He tracked your path and is now kneeling beside you. You tell him that you’ve taken out the sniper that has been wreaking havoc on your forces. But that victory had a cost, as you show him your wounds.
There’s still more to do… There is a heavy machine gun emplacement just on the other side of that ridge. Together, you can take it out. You know he is down for the challenge. You both have the skill. The real question is not if can you do it, but do you tell him how bad your wounds really are? Do you tell him that you’re bleeding out? Do you ask him to use his med-kit to better patch you up? Do you confide in him that you were just on the edge of giving up? Or, do you hide behind the facade that you’re a man that can take care of himself, and put yourself and him in danger? I think you know the answer. I’m sure you’ve seen both choices play out in your life. Accountability is the choice to leverage openness to allow the brothers around you to help you accomplish the goals God has given you, that you simply cannot do on your own.
Let’s take a minute to recap what we learned from Joe Dallas’ Game Plan.
“A Player knows that to keep his integrity thriving he’ll need the additional integrity of men who share his vision. He stays accountable on a weekly basis, allowing his allies to know his weaknesses, struggles, and victories.”
“A Player knows: you cannot and will not play The Game without allies who share a vision to rebuild.”
Accountability must be weekly and structured.
“God has designed us to have the need for community.”
Let’s look at accountability and the training it takes to get there. To really identify what accountability is in our lives, we will examine some of the men in the Bible. Whether we look at David, Job, Peter, or even Jesus, accountability “brotherhood” played a huge role in all their lives.
Lie: We are battling alone and are already defeated
Truth: We are battling along side a community of men, empowered by the Holy Spirit, and alive through the power of Jesus Christ.
This battle is not one that we can win alone. Yes, Jesus’ death on the cross gave us victory over sin and shame. Yes, He gave us victory over death; however, God has designed us to need community. We need men to surround us, hold us accountable, and exhort us consistently. Let’s look at a few men in the Bible and how brotherhood impacted their lives:
David: You read in 1 Samuel 18: 1-5, Jonathan loved David more than himself. Jonathan even betrayed his father Saul to protect David. As you read through 1 Samuel, you see David’s life was flipped upside down, he lost his family, he left his home, he lost everything but his life. Even with all that loss, there were two constants in David’s life. David showed his love for the LORD his God, and his love for Jonathan. Jonathan was David’s friend, his ally, more importantly his brother. They shared a close bond that allowed them to exhort each other and support each other. Modern male relationships often fall short of this kind of commitment and intimacy for each other.
Job: This man lost everything. His livestock were taken, his servants were slaughtered, his children were killed, and his health stripped from him. Even Job’s wife in Job 2:9 stated, “Are you still trying to maintain your integrity? Curse God and die.” Yet, Job remained blameless in the eyes of the LORD. Do you think Job remained blameless under his own power? In Job 2:11, the Bible states that his friends Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar came to visit. In verse 12, they tore their robes and threw dust over their heads to show their grief. Finally, in verse 13, they joined Job in his suffering for seven days and nights. They didn’t say a word, they just sat with him. Even though we all have faults and sometimes get it wrong, Job’s companions were present and helped him process the truth behind his situation.
Peter: My man Peter, the Rock, this guy walked intimately with Jesus, yet denied Him the minute things became tough. In Matthew 26, you can read the story of Jesus and Peter. Even though Peter failed, just as Jesus prophesied, neither Jesus or the disciples turned their back on him. His brothers didn’t throw him to the wolves. Even Jesus, the one Peter betrayed repeatedly, forgave him and restored him to his rightful place. As a matter of fact, fast forward to the book of Acts. Because of that brotherhood and acceptance, you see a rebuilt and confident Peter who is the father of the modern-day church.
Jesus: Is there a better example of brotherhood and accountability than the life of Jesus? Yes, Jesus was perfect and didn’t need someone “checking up on him”, but He saw the value in fellowship. He understood God’s design for intimate relationships as a vehicle for support and growth. He walked His journey to show us how we should treat one another, and allow others to walk our journeys with us. Jesus was loving, he exhorted His brothers, and called them into grace to be more than just guys working a trade. He modeled the power of accountability toward raising someone to the standard of who they REALLY are, not what they currently believe about themselves.
Each of those men had a common thread in their lives. They had other men around them to lift them up (exhort), to love them, to encourage them, and frankly just to be in the journey with them. There is a tremendous impact in our lives when we can take the journey with trusted brothers.
Process & Reflect:
Below are some questions to ask yourself to take a diagnostic look at how you approach accountability. Take time to really answer these questions. Don’t take any of them for granted. Even if you’re operating in these areas in some capacity, ask God how you could grow.
Do you have an accountability partner?
Does this person speak life and exhort?
Do they show love and grace while being tough?
Are they available when you need them?
Do you share openly in your group?
What example do you lead with?
Are you transparent?
Do you exhort your brothers?
Do you receive their exhortation?
Do we love without judgement?
What is the structure of your weekly meeting?
What is the focus? What are your goals for the meeting?
Is there a structure of questions?
Is there a set day and time?
What does the training look like?
Are you calling when things are tough?
Are you bringing sin to the light? How do you remove the habits of secrecy?
Are you leaning on your community when in need?
Are you spending time in the Word and in prayer?
What are you doing in those moments when no one is looking?
Daily Scripture for Week 5
DAY 2 | SCRIPTURE
1 Corinthians 9:24-27 NLT
Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.
Process & Reflect:
So the questions is, What are you doing in your own life to allow these kinds of relationships to flourish? How do allow others into your training to succeed in the race that you are running? Paul stated in 1 Corinthians 9:27 (Paraphrase), I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it doesn’t want to do, and not allowing it to do what it desires. He is speaking of punishing his body and putting his flesh down. This is exactly what we train our body to do. We kill the flesh so that we die and Christ reigns. We need others to reach the training goals that we set. To do that, we have to be intentional.
DAY 3 | SCRIPTURE
Hebrews 3:13 NIV
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
Process & Reflect:
Men tend to think that “cutting up” or “teasing” one another bonds their relationships. That’s fine to a point, but if you only have a brief encounter with a brother, how much time do you spend encouraging that man? You have the power of life and death in your tongue (words), how are you using that power to speak life to the men in your sphere daily?
DAY 4 | SCRIPTURE
Proverbs 27:17 NKJV
As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.
Process & Reflect:
This scripture has been used as permission for men to judge, condemn, and unnecessarily wound other men in the name of accountability. Never back down from a tough word if it means encouraging a brother and calling them to a higher level of success. Be aware of the reasons for your words, however. Seek God’s guidance in how, when, and where to apply “sharpening”. Discomfort is absolutely necessary for growth, just remain faithful in the process.
Also, ask God to show you where you’ve been wounded in the past by a man trying to help you in your journey to freedom but brought condemnation, shame, and needless pain to you in the process. Allow God and possibly a trusted friend to repair those unjust wounds, so that you won’t be afraid to form positive intimate relationships in the future.
DAY 5 | SCRIPTURE
Galatians 6:1-5 TLB
Dear brothers, if a Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help him back onto the right path, remembering that next time it might be one of you who is in the wrong.
Share each other’s troubles and problems, and so obey our Lord’s command.
If anyone thinks he is too great to stoop to this, he is fooling himself. He is really a nobody.
Let everyone be sure that he is doing his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work well done and won’t be in need to compare himself with someone else.
Each of us must bear some faults and burdens of his own. For none of us is perfect!
Process & Reflect:
Honesty and humility aren’t easy to come by, especially in religion. Pride and fear keep us from doing accountability right. This is a great prescription for the attitude we need for accountability to happen. Think a moment about the how you view the men in your world. What is your posture toward the people who are struggling around you? Who are you comparing yourself to? Take a sober moment to ask God what he has to say about those two things, and what He has to say about you. Journal what he tells you.
DAY 6 | SCRIPTURE
1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV
Therefore Encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
Process & Reflect:
Take a moment today to encourage the people you do life with. It doesn’t have to be a “thing”. Just compliment them, smile at them, point out something they did or do well, if you can’t find anything… let the Holy Spirit give you something that is deeper than what you can see on the surface.
DAY 7 | DISCUSS IN SMALL-GROUP
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 lays out some benefits to doing life together:
Two people are better off than one, for they help each other succeed. Do you really believe that?
If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Has that ever been you?
Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? Thoughts on what this looks like in real life?
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Who’s got your back?